I need help removing her.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
