I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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