I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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