My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
