I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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