used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
