bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
sex in a hospital.. check
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
