Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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