He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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