The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
