I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
it was like eating out sand paper
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I need water and some morals
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
