the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
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