please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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