And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
