piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
