I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
