thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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