At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
