He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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