just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
