Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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