Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
