Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
