Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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