Whod you bang
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
