mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
