bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize