I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
