i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
