Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
