the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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