i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
