so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
