How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
