I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
there is glitter all over my balls
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
