shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
