Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
