Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
