He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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