I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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