and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
