We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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