My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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