Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
