...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
