butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
