I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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