Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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