No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
