A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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