Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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