We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
