Moan for me like Helen Keller
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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