Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
