I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
