we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me