between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down