Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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